‘Come back here idiot, come back here and tell me all that’s behind that story, I swear I’d kill you, I hate you with a passion, you’re stupid’, I continued and sobbed loud this time. He was just calm looking at me like a mad barking dog. He smiled back at me, making me look more stupid and then he calmly let go. ‘I know you know I hate you more! I hate cheap things that pretend to have value, iron that glitters like gold! I’d be pleased to tell you how much you disappointed me dirty thing! But I’d be considerate enough to take you to a closed place where you can cry your eyes out. You’re in the public, it’s not nice the way people are looking at you like an idiot, moreover, you, the happening person tomorrow, don’t do this to yourself!’
I knew it, I knew he was that brutal, but I never knew he could talk to me that way, all the words he had been concealing by avoiding me for years came out freely. ‘Are you coming or not? Oh don’t bother I wouldn’t rape you, your husband too should know, I should be the one scared that you’d rape me’, he said laughing sarcastically. I encouraged myself, stood up and wiped my tears. I’ve always taught people to forget their past and focus on the present that would make the future what they want. ‘Sit down, don’t paint it like I was the only one at fault, say all that you want to say now or never, there’s no need to be considerate for anything, just say what you want to say and leave!’ I said trying to calm myself. To my greatest surprise, as he sat down, he began to weep.
‘Joke, I loved you and I trusted you’, he began. I almost screamed at him to shut his mouth, but I realized the more I screamed, the more brutal he became. ‘The way my friends hyped you, they said you had value, they said you’d lambano any guy that talked rubbish with you and that made me love and adore you more. I had always had my eyes on you since I was in part one. You don’t know, but your church bus carried my things from gate to Anglomoz the very first day I stepped on this campus. I saw you smiling at me, you said welcome to Ogba Femi and then for the next three seconds, I did’nt know what came over me, I almost urinated in my trousers. During the mountaineering, you spoke on time management, and it made me love you the more. I loved you, but my friends always discouraged me because you were in part two and I was in part one, that was one of the reasons why I didn’t attend your fellowship, didn’t want to do anything stupid. I determined to be the best I could be on this campus so that in part four, when we’d be fyb’s together, I’d boldly walk up to you and make my intentions known. You know the rest. I still can’t imagine what came over you? I personally know about ten guys who had a bet because of you with money, with gold wristwatches, with phones, influential guys, rich guys, handsome guys, they wanted to play with your feelings, to prove that they could ask the strict all principled lawyer Joke out and even date her. I had a clear intention, I wanted to marry you, I wanted to have you as mine forever. But on the first night we would meet, the initial plan was even to read, you seduced me in such an open place. Well, when I saw you naked that night, you lost value and till today, I don’t believe what everybody has said about you, I don’t believe what you want to preach in that seminar of yours. I don’t and would never believe the God you preached about on that mountain’.
At this point, I didn’t know what to say.
‘You’ve disappointed me, you were the only lady I trusted and now there’s no place in my heart to love another. For four years, I went around learning what you liked and what you didn’t like, building myself to be the perfect man for you, but your first and strongest dislike was what you used to pay me back! Now, you’re happily married! I’m still single not even searching’.
Should I say sorry? Should I pet him? Should I cry? I didn’t know, he wasn’t even ready for any of those. He stood up, wiped his face and said ‘Finally Joke, you disappointed me!’. As he walked away, I remembered the last thing he said to me before we separated over seven years ago, ‘I thought you were not as cheap as those girls…I had you the first time!’.
I felt perplexed. I knew the one night of let-me-even-explore-with-this-guy-I’ve-had-my-eyes on destroyed my reputation! I just wish I knew how far the story of how much he once loved a girl had traveled–if he had shared it with his friends? I also thought that should he get married, he would definitely tell his wife and when I’d be on TV and everywhere preaching, he’d say that’s the lady I told you about! And should he eventually get saved, he’d use me for analysis! For life I would never forget!
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